This week, I’m choosing books over boys.
I’ve made a commitment to dating. To accept dates and even seek them out. And in doing so, I’ve also learned the importance of giving myself the time and grace I need to get to know myself as well.
It is not an easy thing to put yourself out there. Dinners, drinks, time to chat with a potential partner… it can be draining and overwhelming, especially when it doesn’t work out. And I am not that exciting! What do you say to stimulate conversation with a stranger? Especially when they’re just staring down at their chicken parmesan with nothing to contribute?
It takes time, energy and an insane amount of resilience.
Resilience is defined as:
“The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.”
My recovery, lately, has come in book form. Sure, I have a great source of support in my life from friends and family. But I find a lot of solace in books – like a more-affordable form of therapy. They distract from life at hand and always teach me something: about relationships and life, sometimes tragedy and trauma, sometimes hope.
Also, I don’t have to look hot, be cheerful or optimistic, or be my “best self” when spending some quality time with a book. No judgments from the couch or bathtub and latest best-seller.
Currently, I’m a member of Book of the Month, and I’m hooked. Choose one from five new releases (some are not even on bookshelves yet!) for only $14.99 a month. And, add on for only $9.99 a piece. A steal considering all brand-new, hardcover, releases tend to be in the $25-30 range.
I have about 47 books saved in my Amazon cart. I know, I know, I should be buying local. I try to do so often, and I do, but that Prime, I tell ya. It’s too good to pass up. I do love to support local shops, though. Like my friends over at Subtext in downtown St. Paul.
I also frequent my local thrift stores for books. You can find real gems if you dig. I found all of Chelsea Handler’s books yesterday. You know, for research for this column. Did you know she’s in town tonight?
Anyway, my book obsession might be something of an addiction. But it is much less stressful than dating.
And books are loyal in ways people rarely are.
Wish me luck because it’s slim pickins’ in the dating world. My experiences from this past week?
- I had an awkward back and forth on a dating app with a man who claims to have graduated from a college in Boston that has not existed in 32 years. (He’s 35.) I called him out on it and he proceeded to give me the entire history of Boston. Completely avoiding the college all together. What the eff?
- An ex messaged me for a booty call (though when does that not happen?)
- And a former (present) stalker created a new Facebook profile with a photo of me and him (after our one and only date), but with a completely different name.
It’s hard out here, folks.
But in the meantime, tell me, what are you reading this summer? And how do you recover after a stressful day?
Allison, “That Girl with All The Dates,” is a 32-year-old Client Relations Manager at a tech firm in Minneapolis. While her job, her books, her beloved cat, and her nights spent dining at the Twin Cities’ greatest restaurants certainly provide a fulfilling life, she still hopes this whole dating thing will work out one day. Get in touch: hello@tcagenda.com.
If you missed last week’s episode of That Girl, you can find it here: Dating In Your Thirties (Ep.2).
