That Girl: Dating In Your Thirties (Ep.2)

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I’m sorry. I was hoping to have a much better experience to share with you this week.

Remember the young man I mentioned in my first article? The one with the bar cart and the weed obsession? He was super persistent in his pursuit of a second date. I didn’t want to. I mean, I did. Kind of. You should see this guy’s smile. Oofta. It makes me weak at the knees. And, you know that sexy vibe that lies right between cocky and confident? Yes. That. He has that.

But! I tried to show some self-control and replied that it may be best if we just bow out gracefully now because we are at completely different stages in life. (Read: you live in a stoner-filled, cocktail-experimenting, bachelor pad and I live with an overweight cat and an abundance of books, while actively looking for Mr. Forever.)

I’m looking for a long time. He’s looking for a good time.

Well, I am looking for both. Really, I am! I’m not at all opposed to having a good time. But how old do you have to be before you’re too old to be in it for just fun time? I think I’m past that age.

Or maybe society is telling me I am past that age?

Twin Cities Agenda, That Girl
F*ck it. Rock on.

I have dated someone before knowing it wasn’t going to be forever. And even though both parties were well aware, it was still painful when it ended.

Hesitantly, but because of his cute persistence, I accepted his proposal for a second date. But on my terms: An art and music festival. What better way to keep it casual than aimlessly walking around with food and beers enjoying Minneapolis art and music?

Did I mention this guy is cute, though? Like, the maybe I-don’t-care-that-he’s-young-and-dumb kind of cute. Sure enough, few beers and a lot of laughs later, we were holding hands. Even moving close for kiss or two. Even, maybe, possibly, some butterflies.

Crap. Just, crap. What am I doing? This is dumb. Now I’m getting the feels knowing he’s not the one for me.

“Don’t think,” I tell myself. “Just go with it. Let yourself relax and have a good time.”

*Bathroom break*

We go into the nearest building (we’ve got access to a secret potty – one that doesn’t have “porta” in the name). I go in one, he goes in another.

I wait for him outside. 

I wait. And wait, and wait…

Ghosted.

I shit you not: I was ghosted. I mean, you kind of have to laugh. Does this really happen? And not just through text or an app… but in real life? Is it just me?

About an hour after he vanished into thin air, he texts me: “I got sick, had my roommates come and get me. Sorry.”

My reply?

“Disappointed.”

And it’s been radio silence ever since.

I’ve tried to figure it out. The movie He’s Just Not That Into You comes to mind – (but he was the one pushing for the second date, right?)

Was it too close too fast? (PDA is not ok?)

Did he have one too many? (Maybe he really did get sick.)

Maybe he barfed on his sneakers in the bathroom. I kind of hope he did. And down his polo shirt as well. Okay. Maybe not actually. But really, disappointed barely describes my feelings.

I didn’t listen to my instincts. I knew he wasn’t good news and I went out with him again anyway.

Friends, was this on me? Help a girl out.



Allison, “That Girl with All The Dates,” is a 32-year-old Client Relations Manager at a tech firm in Minneapolis. While her job, her books, her beloved cat, and her nights spent dining at the Twin Cities’ greatest restaurants certainly provide a fulfilling life, she still hopes this whole dating thing will work out one day. Get in touch: hello@tcagenda.com.



Did you miss the previous episode of That Girl? Check it out here: That Girl: Dating In Your Thirties (Ep.1)